"We truly need Him every hour, whether they be hours of sunshine or of rain." -Thomas S. Monson
Marissa (in the middle of the picture above) truly is an angel on earth and I am a better person because of knowing her. I was even lucky enough to be her roommate for 2 semesters. This spring, she was diagnosed with Lymphoma. From the beginning, I knew that she would handle it better than just about any other person out there. You see, this girl has an unshakeable faith and the best outlook on life. One of my very favorite things about Marissa has been illuminated even more these past few months: her ability to genuinely serve.
While living with Marissa, there is one day I can remember that I can describe in no other way than pathetic. April and I shared a room and for some reason, we could not get out of bed for the life of us. I don't remember exactly what was wrong except that I passed out every time I stood up. April and I laid in bed alllll day being our pathetic serves. Marissa and McKinley, another roommate, came in, talked to us for a while, and were bewildered by our absolute pathetic-ness. Marissa disappeared and we figured she had gone to the kitchen or something because she couldn't handle the amount of pathetic in that room. A little while later, she showed up with vanilla ice cream for April and steak cut fries for me. An angel on earth, I tell you. It sounds small, but it was the absolute best thing that anyone could have done for us at that point. Marissa is just exceptionally thoughtful like that. She knew that vanilla is April's favorite flavor in the world and that the salt from the fries would help me stop passing out (because of my stupid low blood pressure).
Since being diagnosed, Marissa has served everyone more than we could possibly serve her. She somehow manages to make the simplest things matter. Like a text message. A couple of days ago I told her that her text had made me laugh out loud while I was sitting in class. She responded that that was her goal. To make me laugh. And she does on a regular basis. Texts from Marissa are pretty much on the same level as Sunday naps. Marissa is the perfect example of doing what she can from where she is.
Earlier this week she was hospitalized because she caught pneumonia. Her last round of chemo was supposed to start Thursday, but that didn't happen. Even while she was in the hospital, she was still trying to uplift other people. While I was in class Thursday morning, I found out that she had been transferred to the ICU and was getting worse. I had to fight back the tears while I was in class. Immediately I started praying and pretty much didn't stop all day. Praying that her parents would be okay. Praying that the doctors would figure out why she wasn't getting better. Praying that everything would work out with her last round of chemo.
I had been up late the night before finishing a paper so between a lack of sleep and hearing this news, I really just wanted to go home and take a nap before my afternoon classes. I usually go to the temple on Thursdays, but I was exhausted physically and emotionally and really didn't want to walk all the way there. (Side note: I say "walk all the way there" because it really sounded like a trek in the moment, but really I am so incredibly blessed to live sooo close to a temple.) I remembered something that came up a lot last year. From several different speakers, I heard the same message, "make a time to go to the temple and then don't let anything get in the way." I realized that there probably wasn't anything better that I could do than go to the temple so I made my way to The House of the Lord.
"Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid." John 14:27
While in the temple, I found the peace that my troubled heart had been searching for. Even though I still waiting for answers concerning Marissa, I wasn't really worried. I handed that burden over to the Lord and replaced my fears with faith. While I was walking home, I found out Marissa had been sedated and intubated, but still I felt peace.
I went to my other classes and then found out that Marissa was only partially sedated even though she still had the breathing tube. She was semi-awake and able to communicate with her parents. The medication she was on will cause amnesia so she won't even remember any of this ordeal. It was a small improvement and the doctors still didn't know exactly what was wrong, but my heart was filled with gratitude.
While writing this post, I got another update. The original diagnosis of pneumonia was wrong and the doctors figured out the real problem. Her lungs will recover over the next few months and, the best news of all, she won't need that last round of chemo. Her body is cancer free!
The hymn, "I Need Thee Every Hour" has always been one of my favorites. It's pretty easy for me to recognize my constant need to rely on my Savior, especially on days like yesterday. I can't imagine how hard it would be to go throughout life without a knowledge of the Gospel. I wouldn't make it through the day without knowing that I wasn't doing it alone.
A couple of sisters in my mission changed the words to the hymn, which changed the entire meaning. Not only do we need Him every hour, but He needs us. Every. Hour. The words are meant to be read as if they are from Christ to us.
I need thee every hour
Thou child of God
Come follow me; hold fast
The iron rod
I need thee, o, I need thee
Every hour I need thee
O, seek ye now my kingdom
I wait for thee
I need thee every hour
Stay thou nearby
Allow the still small voice
To be your guide
I need thee, o, I need thee
Every hour I need thee
O, seek ye now my kingdom
I wait for thee
I need thee every hour
Thy voice be heard
Proclaim and testify
In deed and word
I need thee, o, I need thee
Every hour I need thee
O, seek ye now my kingdom
I wait for thee
I need thee every hour
Pray oft and fast
Return to me; What joy!
Come home at last!
I need thee, o, I need thee
Every hour I need thee
O, seek ye now my kingdom
I wait for thee
I've thought so much about this and decided that I want Him to be able to rely on me as much as I rely on Him.